November Crybaby

Written by: Rhea Smith

Hey Crybabies! It’s that time again – meet your new “Crybaby of the Month”! This month I had the pleasure to have a very special interview with someone I am proud to call one of my closest friends – Cassandra Bankson! Every month, we’re going to showcase one of your tender hearts so that we at the Crybaby Club – and you all – can get to know each other a little better. Without further ado, here’s Cassandra:

Q: If you could describe this month in one word, what would it be?

Cassandra: Ha! What happened… Whirlwind. It was a hustle – that’s what it was, let’s call it the hustle. The hustle continues!

Q: Oh yes, I can definitely relate. Now, back to basics. If you don’t mind me asking – how old are you? Where do you live? Do you have any nicknames?

C: Twenty-three, San Francisco, and Cassy. Sometimes Cassy-moo from my mother. It’s because I nursed for many years. No shame!

Q: Alright then! What’s your favorite color? Is there anything else that you’d like to share about yourself in particular?

C: Don’t have one. I like unicorns, rainbows, and glitter. I think all colors are created equal. I’m a very open book, and I use humor to buffer my insecurities.

Q: Oh yeah, that definitely comes out in some of your Youtube videos. When did you first realize that you were a Crybaby?

C: To be completely honest, I had a mental breakdown over the fact that somebody squished a ladybug over a summer vacation. That was when I realized I was a little more sensitive than everybody else.

Q: How did you find out about, and become a member of the Crybaby Club? What do you love most about it? If you had to sum up the Crybaby Club, how would you describe it in a few sentences?

C: My friend told me that it was an amazing support system for her, and knowing that I myself need support from time to time, it seemed like a wonderful community. I love that people are so vulnerable. I do a lot more reading than I do sharing, but seeing other people talk about the things that I internalize is really refreshing – it reminds me that even if it isn’t something that I can talk about at this point, I’m still not alone in it, and that’s really reassuring. It’s a community where people are allowed to cry on each other’s shoulders and heal together, and it really puts things into perspective. Makes me feel important, because I realize that there are some situations that I can have an impact on because of my past experiences. It makes me feel really connected.

Q: What is your favorite thing about yourself?

C: It can be good and bad – but it would probably be my spontaneity. Actually, I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I really admire and respect the love that I have for others. Because I genuinely love many people in my life.

Q: Aww, I can definitely feel that. What are some things that you’re working on improving about yourself?

C: I’ve done a lot of growing throughout the past five years, but there are still a lot of things that I hold shame and guilt for. Some [things] are my fault; some are completely out of my control, yet I still feel guilty. I am working on releasing those negative emotions and attempting to grow from those experiences by opening up and trying my best to share those with others.

Q: Tell us one moment where you ‘cried but you did the thing anyway’.

C: I recently went through a breakup but I let the person go anyways, because it’s not my responsibility to make decisions for other people’s lives, and that was a beautiful growing experience. I grew more than I thought I would from that experience.

Q: What kind of crier are you? Silent? Wailer? Blubberer?

C: Both a silent crier and a wailer. Sometimes I cry silently, and just have a little emotional moment with myself, and feel like I’m in a movie and make a joke about myself to try and feel better. And then other times… We’re just talking tusks of snot. Here come the waterworks!

Q: How do you practice self-care? What are some of your favorite things to do? Do you have any guilty pleasures?

C: Indulging in my hobbies is something that I do for self-care. Taking time to learn something new, that I’m genuinely passionate about, that’s not due for a test or an assignment, and eating vegan cookies! As far as guilty pleasures… I like to pop my pimples. And it’s terrible to admit! Since acne is something I’ve suffered with and I’ve researched constantly and I know how terrible it is. There is something so strangely satisfying about getting rid of them.

Q: I’m sure every girl has experienced that at least one time or another in their life! Don’t sweat it, girl. If you knew that today was your last day on earth, where would you go? Who would you hug? What is the most important thing you would have to do?

C: I would go streaking, and take a swim in the ocean. I would hug every person I saw – I’m serious! Including those that I love, but generally anyone who came across my path. Right now I’m kind of craving curry, but probably something like glitter cupcakes. Just the frosting. I love feeling small, and I always feel very big in my life – physically I take up a lot of space and I’m a lot taller than my friends. But even sometimes mentally I feel like my thoughts take up too much. It’s very rare that I feel small; but when I do, it feels very good, and I feel very protected. So the reason that I love the ocean so much is because it makes me feel small, and really comforted because it’s just like being hugged by waves. So I would go swim in the ocean, and then if I could, I would fly.

Q: Who is someone in your life that inspires you – particularly to be yourself, better yourself, and love yourself?

C: Honestly, Rhea does. I see that Rhea has specific struggles, and it reminds me that I can conquer my own, because she does. She – a while back – told me to pursue my passions of education, which I had my own emotional hang-ups about, and she convinced me to just go for it. That was so fulfilling, because I genuinely love learning and I don’t want my fear of failure to hold me back. She also is very accepting of my differences that I find unacceptable, yet she is constantly reminding me that that is okay. And she listens to me and I find that very comforting. There are a lot of people I open up to but don’t understand me or aren’t so supportive of me.

Q: This is why I’m in the Crybaby Club, because you’re actually going to make me cry! Just to wrap it all up now that I too am an emotional wreck – what makes you truly you?

C: My quirks. The things that for so long I’ve tried to hide, and avoid, and cover – are the things that make me unique, and funny, and spontaneous, and genuinely loving. Sometimes they get me in trouble, sometimes they give me the short end of the stick, and sometimes I end up loving people who don’t deserve it, but I wouldn’t change it because those are all growing experiences. It’s part of what makes me, me – and I think that’s great. Meow!

 

Find Cassandra on Instagram, Facebook, and on Youtube.