Written by: Tillina
I cried yesterday.
One of the girls at work asked if I'd step away from my desk while taking a personal call because it was 'distracting'. So, like any other professional colleague, I finished up my conversation downstairs and returned to my seat - only to then welcome a familiar swelling in my eyes and lump in my throat;
Here we go! Cue water works in 5, 4, 3, 2...
Hi. My name is Tillina and I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
In this particular case, I'd had little sleep the night before (watching Vine compilations on
YouTube till 1 a.m. is a habit I've been meaning to kick) and had just been quoted close to
$1,000 dollars to fix my car. I was stressed! But I'd admittedly spent most of the morning
yelling into the phone beside her trying to negotiate prices I knew absolutely nothing about.
It was just 'one of those days' and a lifetime gifted with over-active tear ducts!
Lack of sleep is by far my biggest trigger. If I've not caught enough Z'z I'm susceptible to
almost anything! I once casually looked down at my best friend’s dog sitting on a cushion in
our lounge room and reactively burst into tears reaching for her tiny, fury face overwhelmed
with a sense of pure and unconditional love!
(Repeat 3 x I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane!)
I can't fucking help but take things personally.
"Was it me?"
"Did I do something wrong?"
"How was that not good enough?"
A cocktail of unnecessary pressure and self-doubt! Cheers!!!
Forever being a 'people pleaser'. The struggle is real!
Even at 27 I still find it difficult to say NO to some people. Generally, I'm more than happy to do whatever, you know, "go with the flow" but I can't quite determine if that's my adaptable attitude or just a result of trying not to inconvenience anyone!?
Being a HSP can be bloody exhausting and I'd be stunned if I'd not had a small sob at some
stage during the week. My sensitive nature is a trait I try to embrace and use to be more
calculated with my decisions and compassionate to the world. I've had to learn that not
everybody is as equally sensitive and manage my emotions where appropriate (still yet to
perfect this one).
You are definitely not alone, weak or crazy. Simply recognising this trait and accepting it as a
part of your genetic make-up is incredibly liberating. We are intuitive, empathetic and
passionate beings with strengths that can transform people’s lives and change the world!