Happy June, crybabies. This month marks our very first “Crybaby of the Month” feature, where we take one of our tender hearts and get to know them a little better. One of my very favorite parts of starting this group is having the opportunity to get to know you guys, so without further ado, allow me to introduce you to our June Crybaby, Makenzi!
Greetings love, what is one word to describe the kind of month you are having?
Bittersweet. Hahaha I got to go to Utah and spend some time with my family and as soon as I got back, my boyfriend came to spend my birthday with me. Seeing everyone was great. All the goodbyes were not.
Ok, the basics…Please tell us your age/birthdate, where you live, if you have any nicknames, your favorite color, and, since it is June, your favorite thing to drink on a hot day.
I was born Wednesday June 2nd 1993. So I celebrated my 23rd birthday not too long ago. I was born and raised in Utah. Decided that I hated it and ran away to Chicago, I lived there for 5 months and have spent the last 6 living in Brooklyn,NY. My favorite color is a tie between yellow and teal. My favorite thing to drink on a hot day.. hmmm... Dunkin Donuts pistachio iced coffee is to die for, but also milkshakes are pretty amazing.. I need a little help getting boys into my yard and I hear that helps. I have 3 tattoos; a needle and thread because I love embroidery, sunflowers because they're my absolute favorite, and "stay gold, I love you" in my grandfather's handwriting. I read a lot. I sing sometimes, not as much as I used to. My sister in law Ruthie and I used to do covers all the time to put on YouTube, there's a couple of them on her page. I bake. And I feel like I'm rambling so onto the next question hahaha
When did you first realize that you were a crybaby?
I realized I was a crybaby after I graduated high school... I was always really hard with my emotions. They were always.. not.. I guess you could say. I didn't cry. I didn't feel. I was just kind of had a "heart of stone”. I was in an abusive relationship and started attending group therapy for it. It helped a tad with my emotions but at the same time it made things so much worse. We had a few of the kids take their lives or die of overdoses, and that's really when I became a cry baby. You get so close to these kids and then they're just gone. It brought all my emotions to surface.
So, how did you become a member of The Crybaby Club and what do you love most about it?
My sister in law Ruth is a member of the club and I saw a post about something on her page so I went to check it out for myself. I fell in love with all the tender hearts and just couldn't pull myself away. Honestly? Natalie, as brown nosey and suck uppy as it seems you're my favorite part. The love and support you've showed me while I've been here has made me feel like I matter and that ya'll want to have me around. (interviewers note: I did not pay her to say that :)
What is your favorite thing about yourself?
I like my eyes.. or if that's the wrong answer then I feel like I'm a pretty decent person and that's pretty nifty. I'm patient and caring and I think the world needs more of that.
On the flip side, what is something you are not so fond of, but are working to improve?
I have the self esteem of an earthworm.. most days I do not find myself attractive and it's hard to remain positive about myself. Which makes any sort of relationship hard, even like friendships and stuff. No one wants to be around a Debby downer you know?
Tell us one moment where you cried but did the thing anyway.
I got in an airplane.. moved away from home.. moved away from Chicago... got my entire shin tatted.. just a bunch of little things that most people wouldn't see as a big deal. I'm just kinda panicky.
When it comes to crying, what kind of crier are you? Wailer, blubberer or silent crier?
I'm a very silent crier. I always try to hide it. There have been a few times where I full on ugly cried with the runny nose and the hyperventilating. I think I'll just try and stick to silent tho.. it's so much easier.
How do you practice self care?
When I get emotional I always always always get a glass of water. Being dehydrated is a huge no no. Tears come out, water goes in, repeat. If I feel like it I'll take a bath or listen to Sia. But mostly I just lay in Hella blankets and sip water.
If you had to pick the most epic crying moment of your life, good or bad, what would it be?
When my brother when on his LDS mission, I got really close to someone. They were by far the best friend I've ever had. We spent almost everyday together. Closer to his return, things got kinda sour between me and this girl and we just weren't friends anymore. We were both at fault but it just really sucked to not have her around. I had many a cry about that.
If you knew today was your last day on earth, where would you go, who would you hug, and what would you eat?
If today was my last day I'd gather my family and my boyfriend and we'd go to Montana and eat French fries. That's all I'd want. Family and French fries. I'd want to spend my last moments with them, telling them how much I loved and appreciated them. Montana just seems like a quiet, beautiful place to do itI wouldn't mind dying there.
Who is someone in your life that inspires you to love yourself, be yourself, or better yourself? There's 3 people who come to mind when I think of loving myself.
My little brother Asher. He's been my best friend for 9 years and I wouldn't want to do anything to me that would hurt him. My grandfather, kinda the same thing.. he loves me so I can't imagine letting him down and not being the best for myself. And last but not least my boyfriend Russell, he moved me out to Brooklyn so I could go to school. He expects the best from me because he knows I'm capable of giving it. He doesn't want me to settle for anything less than the very best.
What makes you quintessentially “you”?
I think I'm pretty unique. I like to think I'm part of the good that's lacking in this world.